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Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Heightist women?

A year ago, this would have depressed me (HT Instapundit):
But the fact of the matter is that, for the most part, I go out with guys my height or taller. The shortest guy I ever went out with? 5’10”. The tallest? 6’6”. Lately, I’ve been wondering, does that make me a heightist?

If I am, I’m not alone. A while back, I conducted a poll: “Would you go out with a guy who’s shorter than you?” Around 40 percent of the women who responded said: “Hell-to-the-no.” Another 32 percent or so indicated they’d date a guy the same height or a “teeny bit” shorter. How many women would go out with a significantly shorter man? Around 25 percent. In other words, most women are heightists.
As if that wasn't depressing enough, read the comments, and all the women who say that they won't date anyone less than 6 feet (and especially the short women who won't date short men). I hate to disappoint those women who say that they'll only date 6' guys, but according to this chart, only about 25% of men are taller than 6 feet.

I'm a 5'4" guy. I'm well below the 5th percentile--assuming a Gaussian distribution, I'm well below the 1st percentile. I'm also a reformed heightist. At one point, I preferred women who were shorter than I was. Unfortunately, most of those women were only interested in men taller than I. Eventually I realized that I was being silly--considering my height's the same as the average female height, I wasn't being fair to 50% of the female population. Granted, this wasn't a sudden change of heart--I just gradually expanded my ideal dating pool, to my height, and then to a little taller, etc. Fortunately, it was sometime after this that I met my 5'6" girlfriend, and height wasn't a deciding factor for her either.

One thing a lot of women in the comments to that article talk about is that being taller than the man is an issue for him. I can see that being the case when a guy's 5'9" and dating a 5'10" woman. Not that many women are taller than he is, and the few who are might seem intimidating. The thing is, that's a luxury a 5'4" guy doesn't have. If I were intimidated by taller women, I'd be intimidated by half of them.

So it doesn't depress me anymore--I just find it immature. I'm not about to say that there's something wrong with having a preference for taller men. But a preference and an absolute refusal to consider anyone the wrong height (and neither I nor my girlfriend ever stuck to absolutes in height considerations) is a recipe for heartache.